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Dan Quayle is one of my all-time favorite politicians, and he should be one of yours too.

When you consider how little difference it makes who the U.S. vice president is, and when you consider how much pleasure Dan Quayle has brought the world, you definitely should join me in a plebiscite to return him to the vice-presidency no matter what.  No matter what party he belongs to, and no matter what practical effect he might have on our government, and no matter what effect he might have on you personally.  Danforth Quayle is a national treasure whose power to amuse and bemuse should not be limited to anything less than the status of Vice-President-For-Life.  (In case you've forgotten, if Dan's president should die in office, it's the Speaker of the House who's next in the line of succession once Dan is dead.)

But first, you should go here for an astonishing list of things Dan said.

During the eight years of Clinton there was no one like Quayle to pick on, but then -- hooray -- George W. Bush was appointed president.

Update of January 2005:  But first, go to this page on SLATE for a good starting collection of George W. Bushisms.  My favorite of what must be a hundred by now is this one:

You might want to comment on that, Honorable."
-- To New Jersey's secretary of state, the Hon. DeForest Soaries Jr., as quoted by Dana Milbank in the Washington Post, July 15, 2000

Update of March 9, 2001: But first, check it out!  I heard one -- a Bushism.  Not nearly as good as the one above, but still it's kinda fun.  Actually, this is the second one I've caught, but I can't remember the first one.  Anyway, this afternoon on NPR I heard a snippet of a speech President George W. Bush gave discussing his $1.6 trillion, ten-year tax cut in which he said the following:

". . . and I believe it is the people, not the federal government, who is best able to decide how to spend that money."

Update of August 23, 2004: But first, check out the collection of Bushisms at DUBYASPEAK.COM.

But really first, do go to my special page, which is why I brought you here.


How Dan Got To Be VP

Imagine it's 1983 and you're George H.W. Bush.  You're the vice president, and you're already thinking of running for president in 1988.  Then your boss, Reagan, gets shot.  You realize that if he dies, you're the prez.

What do you think?  Well, one thought is that you want to choose as a running mate someone no one would ever want as president.  You want to choose such an obviously incompetent boob as your vice-presidential running mate that even the looniest of kooks out there wouldn't assassinate you, for fear of what your vice president would do as president.

I have thought about the idea of DQ as president, and it makes me shudder.  One can only hope that his handlers would bend every effort to prevent him from actually implementing any of his own decisions, and from making any statements whatsoever to any foreign country, and from having access to the football.

But first, go to the special page, which is why I brought you here.


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